Today is my last day on this earth.....as a 31 year old. Tomorrow starts a new year, a new chapter perhaps, new aches, new pains, new challenges, new excuses to celebrate, sulk, plan, cry, smile, etc..
I like my birthday. It's my favorite day of the year no matter how old I am turning. Surely it's not as exciting as when I turned 7 and I had my McDonalds party, or when I was 10 and had a bowling party, or when I was 13 and had a pool party and made out with Craig Fisher on my parent's lawn chair (gross what was I thinking??). But it's still exciting. I get to have a celebration and cake, oohhh cake, and everyone is extra nice to me, I feel like a princess. Maybe I will borrow my niece's purple tutu and wear it all day tomorrow, she won't mind.
So instead of doing work for next year's budget (which is what I am supposed to be doing right now) I started to look back and think about what I've accomplished. When I turned 30 I had a bucket list....to be honest I didn't start crossing items off my list until I turned 31. That first year was a rough realization for me, had to got through many lows to get to the big high I feel now. As I go along I seem to add new things to this bucket list, not sure that's allowed but HEY it's my list, I make the rules. The only item I can cross off my list before I turned 30 is completing grad school. It was a long and arduous road but I successfully made it to the end. So, MBA - check.
I conquered my fear of flying last year when I challenged myself with a flying trapeze class: Flying mid air- check. I traveled alone to visit friends and family on a few occasions and had well deserved "relaxation" time with myself: Be best friends with myself - check. I also took it upon myself to enroll in a pole dancing class, sans friends like a big girl and conquer my fear of embarrassment as well as begin the journey of getting to know my body and become comfortable in my own skin: Pole lessons - check, Being ok on my own - check, Being happy with the time I spend away from my "normal" routine - check, Building confidence and learning to love my own body - check in progress.
This new activity in my routine led me to continue to live out of my "box" and enroll in an aerial acrobats class, something I dreamed of as a kid but never really followed through on: Become more active - check, Become more care free - check. Everything I currently love costs money. In the old days I would tell myself to save and not splurge on crazy things, instead I would shop for shoes and bags and get depressed. Now I have learned to live for the present, shoes and bags are materials, a temporary happiness. I no longer fear spending my hard earned paycheck if it's on something contributes to my long term happiness. Day to day living is so costly but why should that stop me from living? Why should I cheat myself out of happiness because I rather be cheap? Stop being cheap with myself - check.
To sum up, 31 was actually the most productively happy year I've had in my life thus far. I never understood when people said being 30 is wonderful. I anticipated it as getting old and having this moral obligation to settle down, get married and pop out kids. I also anticipated it as having to be a total grown up and have endless responsibilities. I was wrong. This is my life. A one time shot at a life I was given to live any way I choose. I had to get through my 20's to actually come to that conclusion and begin my own journey, because you can't take anyone else's word, you just have to stumble upon it when it's your time. So instead of putting a timer on my next 8 years of life, I am living every day like it's my last. Ok that's probably an extreme statement. I will live every moment as if it could be taken from me. I won't allow anything to get in the way of my own happiness, regardless of what defines that happiness. Aches and pains are only present if you allow them to be. Every ache and every pain has meaning to me now. It means I accomplished something great. Without aches, pains, bruises and cuts, it means I am just getting by. I don't want to just get by. I want to live, breathe, feel, be, and allow each moment to take me to a new place that may not be on my originally planned path. My path is mine and only I can travel it. I can't count on someone else to complete my life or show me my next step. This is a journey everyone should enjoy for themselves and everything else is just an added bonus or support system.
LESSON LEARNED: Create the life you love - CHECK.
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