The Unnecessary Pressures of Being a Woman

This is one of those rants that I need to have because I am filled with endless emotions and thoughts and unanswered questions and aggravations.

Let me start by saying that yesterday was a really crappy day.  I woke up thinking it was Friday and had to face the biggest let down when I realized I was two days early and had barely hit the half mark of my work week.  Between the usual spilled coffee in the car and losers on the road causing me to almost crash several times on my way to work, I knew I should have stayed in bed......But I didn't.  I also went through the majority of the day thinking it was a full moon and blaming all of my hysterics on that, only to find out that again, I was 3 days too early.  I am starting to think someones been sprinkling dimensia dust over me in my sleep.


Anway, back to my topic.  Society (a dreadful word in the American vocabulary according to me) is always at fault for putting pressure on women.  We hear it all the time, pressures to be thin, pressures to be beautiful, pressures to have big boobs, or smooth skin, or great hair, nice legs, rock solid abs, you get the idea.  But there's another type of pressure put on women.  And that is the pressure to procreate.

As I was catching up with one of my many pregnant friends yesterday, she mentioned to me how she bumped into another friend (also married with children) and they discussed when I would be popping out a child.  Now, this is just an example of the typical questions I get as a 32 year old single female.  Questions from everyone, mostly those who are already married and/or have kids, and mostly the older genereation.

In my 20's I always thought I'd be married with a great career and kids by the time I turned 30.  Of course, nothing is set in stone.  And over the years I have forgotten about that stigma and went on with my life.  By the time I did turn 30 I'd had a few relationships under my belt and a greater idea of what the world had to offer and the freedom I had to explore it.  And in my opinion, or should I say in my world, I think I have accomplished more then most girls my age.  But why is it that people who did choose the other different path always want to know "When are you getting married?" or "When are you going to have a baby?"  I think it's pretty offensive honestly.  Why is that the ONLY accepted status as a woman?  I wouldn't say to an overweight person "When are you going to lose weight?" or "Why are you so fat?"  I am sure the person KNOWS they are overweight or need to lose weight, why is it my business to remind them or make them feel like they are out of place if they don't?

This all comes at a time in my life when I too have the same questions for myself.  And I went home last night and honestly felt sad, and angry.  Mostly at myself.  Why am I choosing this path in life?  Why haven't I gotten married or had a kid yet?  What am I waiting for?  Now I will be an old mom, the old moms I used to make fun of as a kid.  Maybe I should think about having a kid now, even if it's not with the right person, everyone seems to think it's time.   Then I made the mistake of logging into my facebook account and saw 3 different announcements of people who had baby news.  Just in time for my mini meltdown thank you!  Facebook has become a tool where people throw pimp out their families to show off to the world (i.e. their long lost friends from grammar school) how wonderful their lives are and how happy their families are.  I used to use facebook as a way to keep in touch with friends that I can't see on a regular basis, friends that live far away, but now I don't even enjoy logging in because it's become a show and apparently I have nothing to show.  I've actually deleted people because of it.

Is it that in order for a woman to be completely fulfilled in life she needs a husband and a fleet of children to account for?  What if you remove that husband and/or children frmo her life, is she then less of a woman?  I am not sure I am understanding what's being asked of me.  Does it make me a loser because I didn't find someone early on and have a family and become a young mom?  I mean don't get me wrong sure it would be great, and I am happy for anyone who is happy with that lifestyle, but maybe I am happy with my education and my freedom in life.  I have a double MBA, and I do so many things with my free time that make me happy.  Maybe I enjoy traveling the world with friends and boyfriends (regardless of how often they may come and go).  Maybe I am happy focusing on just me for now. 

I never felt complete by having someone in my life to complete me.  I always assumed as an individual you are expected to complete yourself before you try to complete someone else.  What about individuality?  Why am I looked at different by all my friends who are in marriages with kids?  Is it because they want me to be trapped at home with no freedom to do what makes me happy?  Is it a case of misery loves company (assuming they are not truly happy)?  Or is it that they feed into society's pressures on women becoming old maids?  Now we have "cougars."  Who cares?  Why must it be called anything.  No one seems to put the same pressure on men.  A man can live his whole life whoring around and never having kids and no one will say a word.  In fact he will be praised for it.  But why should I go run out and get married or knocked up just to fit in?  What difference does it make?  And what gives anyone the right to question me about it!?!?