This I love

I had a really tough week and watching this makes me somewhat smile. I used this song last night in class...

In this moment.. this instant, I am free

Breathe.. 

Breathe....

My heart is wrenching, suffocating.  The walls are closing in around my breath.  Tension builds between my shoulder blades and my shoulders are inches from my ears.  I am drowning in a sea of overwhelming confusion and it's difficult to catch a breath.  Each time I come up for air I am forcefully pushed back down fighting my way back to the top.  This goes on for days.

It's Sunday afternoon and my eyes are swollen and my heart hurts.  I walk into the dim lit studio, dimmer than my usual class, and find my spot in the back of the room.  I don't know anyone in this class so I zone out with my ipod until the instructor comes in.  I pick my song for the evening, "Sleep like a child" by Joss Stone and put my ipod in the holder on the wall.

As the warm up begins I am on my back breathing into the slow and sublte moves of my arms and legs as my body begins to relax and do it's own thing to the beat of my favorite Muse song.  I get warmer and my senses begin to awaken.  The dim light relaxes me yet excites me.  I begin to forget all of my worries as I stretch into my upper body spine circles.  I begin to feel the floor and the texture of the mat as the instructor reminds us to breathe.  I breathe.  It feels so organic and free.  I want to lay on this mushy mat for eternity, or at least the next half hour. 

Pole practice begins and my body is bendy and loose.  I perfect my chopper with the help of my instructor and it's time to dance.             

Breathe.......  

           

As my song fills the room I lay back in the cushy chair breathing her in and my shoulders fall further away from my ears.  There are 5 other girls in the studio but I am the only person in this room right now, the only person that I feel.  My body melts onto the cold wood floor and I am rolling around at the speed of dripping molasses to the sound of Joss Stone.  This feels good.  Nothing matters.  My toes connect with the floor and my back stretches and slithers in her space.  Right here in this moment, I am free.  Right here in this moment I don't have to pay a bill, or respond to a text, or worry about someone else, or be somewhere, or care how I look.  Right here in this moment, I am me and no one can take that away.  My newly manicured toes drag across the floor and I take hold of my pole, spinning, climbing and inverting, slow, Breathe.....hanging upside down and free - devouring the lyrics of this song as my heart slows its beat and catches it's breath: "Sleep like a child, peaceful and deep....and I when you lay you down I pray your soul to keep...."